When In Doubt, Just Write…..

My latest piece… ok, so it is not really mine, but when the creative energy strikes, you hit the gas pedal and run with it. As a writer, I am ALWAYS, at any given moment, looking for inspiration. Rarely, these days, does it strike, or at least not since those 8 weeks ago that I walked through the streets of Jerusalem, and said to myself, “this feels like home”, followed by that intimate moment I stood at the Western Wall in Israel and poured my little heart out to G-d. You know, that dude upstairs; that we so often forget to thank, praise, and have gratitude for. Tonight is one of those moments that I feel a divine presence tapped into me when I came across this anonymous post. There is no need to elaborate on any of it, because the truth is I’ve lived it all. #1 – 45 — I still am in fact, everyday, sometimes all at once. Since this blog, and my posts, are meant to inspire, when I find something that tugs on the heart strings, the first thing I need to do is share it. Perhaps, you’ve lived these too, and still are.

So here’s to 1-45, but most of all; to # 18; a writer writes. If you want to be a writer, keeping writing.

Here’s to hoping!

45 IMPORTANT LIFE LESSONS

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. You can get through anything, if you stay put in today.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, keep writing.

19. Light the candles, bring out the fancy china. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. If you can say NO, then you also have the power to say YES.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

32. Believe in miracles.

33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

34. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

35. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

36. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

37. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

38. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

39. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

41. The best is yet to come.

42. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

43. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

45. It’s your story, your ending. You choose what you want this # to be.

 

 

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Stand Tall, Even When You Feel Knocked Down

Turn your face stubbornly to the light, and keep it there.

Elizabeth Gilbert

I’ve had several people in the last few days tell me I am brave for traveling amidst all the chaos in the world.

And to that I say; it is everywhere, and cannot be stopped. I thought for a brief moment after hearing about such a terrible tragedy that maybe I would be safe if I was to just stay where I am, just as those people thought when they were celebrating who they are, proudly. Never in a million years would they have thought their lives would be taken in vain. But the hate is there. It is next door, in nightclubs, on buses, trains, New York City landmarks, the streets of Europe, the synagogues in Israel, the gay streets, the straight streets, and the list goes on. It was Martin Luther King who said, “darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

So, the question is, will we live in fear or will we live our lives? I couldn’t think of a better way to drive out hate with love than in Israel. It is a place where I will be surrounded by a sense of unity, faith, triumph, perseverance, strength, hope, but most of all, G-d’s grace. I cannot think of a better way to celebrate life than that.

To those who are grieving, who suffered the pain of losing a loved one, or just experience it every time you turn on the news, let the light of life do its job and touch your heart.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hear them. G-d hears them.

I will be sending you all the love and light your aching hearts need!

Live Life For You, Everybody Else is Too Busy Anyway…

We all spend our twenties and thirties trying so hard to be perfect, because we’re so worried about what people will think of us. Then we get into our forties and fifties, and we finally start to be free, because we decide that we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. But you won’t be completely free until you reach your sixties and seventies, until you finally realize this liberating truth — nobody was ever thinking about you, anyhow. 

— Anonymous

It’s My Party, and I’ll Cry if I Want To (Or Not!)

We need to learn to live, to focus on something good or useful to our lives, then let the rest of the world go about its business.

– Anonymous

 

March – that time of year again, that blessed season between winter and spring, flats and winter coats, discounted travel deals, and holiday lulls.

But perhaps the most significance to this month is that it’s my birthday month. You see, this is usually the time of year I always dread, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for my expectations to be filled. Because, after all, we all have them, right?

My past four birthdays have been spent in heartache, with some kind of unforeseen circumstance “coincidentally” occurring around the time another age is about to be sprung.

I’ve learned to associate this time of year with a transitioning period of grief, worry, fear, anxiety, and pain. This year, I chose different. I decided to take a deep breathe when I welcomed in March, and let the tensions go of the past 4 years with a deep sigh, releasing all the negative from my past. This year, I am choosing faith over fear, hope over hurt, and excitement over disappointment. I’ve come to realize that the only one who can sabotage my own happiness is me. At every point in our lives, we have two choices, two paths to choose. And ultimately, it’s up to us whether we see the crossroads, or the ray of light breaking through the darkness. It’s always there if we just open our eyes and believe.

So – here’s to welcoming in March; a time of new beginnings; new roads to choose; a new season, and another year older to spring into happiness.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul  – Samuel Ullman

How I Broke up with Heartbreak

Sometimes you have to breakdown before you can breakthrough.

– Anonymous

It’s been exactly 24 hours, and here I am, face down again in the mud. I am hurt. I am sad. I am angry and in pain. I feel lost. I feel little. It feels like the nightmare of something that you worried about would happen and now that it finally has you don’t know how to face it. But you’ve been here before, and you’ve made it, and you’ve been back here again, and again you made it. But you still stop to wonder; why? Why do people leave? Why do the men who said they loved you, leave? When will the one who says it actually mean it and stay? Where is that man who can see me for who I really am, someone even more than my beautiful big heart?  A man who won’t mistake my kindness for weakness. The one who can see the quiet strength behind the tears, the woman who even in the face of those tears will pick herself up off the floor, brush herself off and start all over again. I wondered how it was that I found myself here again.  And like most of us when left with unanswered questions, we are forced to look within ourselves to find the answers. Here are the hard lessons of love I am learning in my 30’s. I am here again in this breakup grief because I have not yet learned the lessons, but I am on my way to becoming the woman I’ve always wanted to become. In fact, I am more than half way there. I don’t have to worry that I will keep falling down every time I think I finally got it right. I don’t have to worry about the next person who may leave because I know that when it is really meant to be, he will be there to stay. And for those who couldn’t join me on my journey, they are simply not part of the story. They only served as the catalysts to bring me where I need to be. It’s only when the wrong people leave your life that the right things will start to happen. I know the value of finding that beautiful, and quiet loving place within yourself first before being able to appreciate it in others. And when I look back at the closed doors, I know that they were closed for a reason. I know that God is protecting me from things that I can’t even see, but maybe he can. And although it hurts to think that you really had something only to realize that one day it is no longer yours, soon enough we realize that there is always something better. There is always the next best thing, which is always better than the last. It needs to hurt bad to jolt us to getting in touch with our own strength, otherwise, what is the purpose? Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and The City said it best, “when she was looking for something big, Mr. Big, but as it turns out when that big love comes along, it’s not always easy”.  Maybe you do have to put up a fight for the one you love, but the only ones that are worth putting up a fight for, are those who give you a return on your investment. It takes time to love, and even more time to trust. True love is a time of becoming someone new.  It’s letting go of what was, to make room for what will be. It takes a courageous heart to love wholeheartedly. After reflecting on these lessons, I was still reminded of this mans love. The love of a man who told me he felt accepted and understood. And now it is over. And there you are, left; mourning the dream of love while learning the lessons it taught you. And then you realize that the one meant for you will show up at the perfect time. The one worth all of this pain so you can both pave your path together. And neither one of you will have doubts when things get tough. There will be no questions. The truth will be there, without any effort, and without any fear. There will be a trust like you’ve never had before.  A feeling that is so sacred that neither of you will ever want to let it go. And you won’t have to, because it will be there to stay, just as this man was. I don’t have to question if it was meant to be, of course it was. But sometimes we want forever, instead I had four months. So yes, it was meant to be, for as long as it needed to be there. And now you are alone, reminded what it is like to stand 10 feet tall without a man by your side. And you are reminded that there is no man in the world who can really break your spirit.  You remember the words you spoke to your younger self in a published article you wrote titled, http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/10/a-love-letter-to-my-inner-child/, which honored how far that little girl has come. You know that your experience will give you the strength you need to dream up your own future and make it as big as you want it to be. The future that one lucky man will look at, and want to be a part of. That is the domain you are going to build, one that you are capable of building, without needing a man to cheer you on to do it. For a while I blamed myself. I wondered where it all went wrong. I wondered why he didn’t immediately regret his decision. Why didn’t he appreciate what he had? And then I realized that no two people are alike in their pain. Maybe he was just too invulnerable to even face his own truth. I suddenly felt compassion. I began to pray for this man. I also felt relief that I no longer had the need to throw myself at somebody who wasn’t willing to catch me. My heartbreak was a reminder that just because I felt ready to settle down, it didn’t mean I had to settle. Just because I let down my wall which left me open to pain, didn’t mean that the next relationship couldn’t lead to abundance. Because it is only in that place of broken-openness where we grieve, but it is also where we come alive. They don’t teach you in school how to be a girlfriend, or a lover, or a wife. We give what we can in the best way we know how to give. Then I started to think about relationships. I wondered what it is that makes them so great. And I realized that the great ones are those where you can be emotionally naked, so naked that you are frightened by your own exposure, but still make a commitment to stay. Those are the relationships worth fighting for, and the only ones worth having in your life. We can’t beat ourselves up if we start to worry that we could lose love again. Instead, we need to look inside our selves at those former lost loves that never really broke us down, but instead, shaped us into the person we were meant to become. The love that taught us how to rise up, stronger than we were before. Because that is powerful and it is real. That kind of love cannot be contained. In love, we invite, we surrender and we risk. But in the end we must never forget that our happiness is our own responsibility. A person can give us many things; their love, passion, protection, and strength.  But they cannot provide us with total happiness. That beautifully wrapped box is ours waiting to be opened. No one else is holding it, that is just an illusion. So for all of those who are still trying to find their way, don’t give up on yourself. Trust in the universe. Trust in love. Believe in yourself, and never lose faith. Love is out there, in many ways and many forms. It is just like that beautiful butterfly we keep chasing, and as soon as we stop, it rests quietly on our shoulders, in the most perfect time, and in the most perfect way, just when we least expect it to.